Sunday, December 11, 2016


Peace is such a big little-big word.  You know, a little word with a big meaning?  Like L-O-V-E. Such a small word with a whole lot of power.

Today I sat in the church service and listened as our pastor finished up the series on the names of Christ.   Isaiah 9:6:  For unto us a child is born, to us a Son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

I sat there today, tears stinging the back of my eyes as I realized that this is exactly what Jesus has been for me this year - even when I didn't acknowledge it - or really realize it.

This year has felt like a whirlwind in every way.  When I flipped the calendar over to December, I remember thinking "Wow, that sure happened fast!"  And during the year I can't tell you how many times I thought "If we can just make it to Sunday night" - and we did - almost 52 times already!
I just want to take a minute to be thankful for all the ways I/we have been sustained and encouraged this year.

I am thankful that in January, Nate was courageous enough to take a giant leap of faith and leave UPS after more than 10 years.  I was terrified.  Everything we had ever known, and ever planned for - revolved around his job. The stability, the plans we had for the future, our livelihood - in my mind -was coming from UPS.  Yes, I realize it was a job given to Nate by God to provide for our family and it is He alone who meets our needs, but in that moment, making a "once we leave we are gone" decision for a job that was so different, a job that would be a huge adjustment for our family and was going to take all the security that I could see right out from under our feet - I thought - what are we thinking? But Nate just did it - he prayed, thought and prayed some more - and then he just trusted, and we both had peace.

When it came to the decision to put Skylar in school - I had been really really reeeeaallllyyy on the fence.  What is best for her?  Does she need to be in school?  Should I keep her home and home school?  Should I send her here - or there?  And we prayed, and prayed and prayed - made a decision - and we had peace.

And in between a new job, new schedule for work for both of us, new school, new church - two weddings (third one on the way) - our hearts were being led to start the adoption process.  In a year that was already overwhelming and hard to balance - we knew God was calling us.  As soon as we listened and obeyed - we had peace.

Yet, in the middle of this entire adoption process - a process full of paperwork, training, waiting, financial investment - I have had more peace about God's provision in our life that I think I have ever had. All the logistics that would normally worry me sick have been easy to overlook compared to the total lack of control that has come with knowing our baby is halfway across the world and there is not a blessed thing I can do about that.  I feel like I am searching for peace about this one thing - constantly praying that God will protect her and bring her home sooner than later. I know it sounds so stinking crazy - because I don't know her - who she is, how old she is, where she is, or what she looks like, but my heart literally aches for her.  It's a feeling that is so hard to put in to words.  I remember being pregnant with Skylar and Wyatt and wanting desperately to hold them - but it wasn't a painful ache - because they were with me, safe - and I knew.
But this is a whole new realm of emotions, a whole new level of peace needed.  I have to fight back tears when I think about her - not knowing who is holding her - or if she is even being held.  Is she sad, cold, hungry, lonely - or does she have wonderful caretakers who play with her, pray over her and let her know her mom and dad will be there for her soon?  I pray desperately she knows she is loved and wanted.

But this one thing I know - and was reminded of again today at church - when the chaos and worries of life surround me, I can have peace because of who my Heavenly Father is - and I know that He cares for her even more than I do.  This give me peace.

As the holiday season goes on - I am praying for peace.  I am praying that I will know that God's timing is best.  That He is still working on me, and preparing me to be her mom.  If the time was right, she would be here already.  I pray that I will not rush through or wish away this phase of waiting - but instead relax in the peace that only He can give me, that I will enjoy my time with Skylar and Wyatt, and that I will be still and know that He holds my baby even when Nate and I can't.

This song has been an encouragement to me lately - knowing Jesus, Only Jesus can sustain me.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

The Momma RollerCoaster

The Mom-Coaster.  It is life lately.  Daily.  It's the ride of mom-life that moves you from the pit-of-disobedient-despair to mountaintop-of-sweetness spitting you out into the frustration-loop-of-back-to-back-bad-decisions followed by a swift ride up to the pinnacle-of-pride.  A ride where rarely are the transitions from each point smooth or slow - instead, it starts when your feet hit the floor at break-neck speed until you finally [try to] shut the ride down at 7 p.m. when toddlers go to bed - which actually turns into 8-ish p.m. after the 20th [frustrating] request for water, kisses, bathroom breaks, one more song and a tighter-tuck-in are finally over.

Today (by 1 p.m.) it was a roller coaster day.  The morning started fine - no one got up horrifyingly early - we had decided to skip school today (its VPK, relax) and run pre-wedding errands and also had some fun ideas for the afternoon.

But by the time we went downstairs for breakfast the you-know-what flew sky high. I noticed last night that Skylar's hair looked funny - but was in the middle of getting Wyatt back in bed for the 56474987321321th time (no, not an exaggeration) and Nate put her in bed with the light off so I didn't think another thing about it.  Yet, here, in the glaring morning light of the kitchen it slaps me in the face - Skylar has bangs.  I finally stopped shaking long enough to ask her, "Skylar did you cut your hair?"  Her face said it all.  Busted. And genuinely upset about it. She teared up and said "yes, it was in my face while I was doing art, so I just cut it."  I really really tried to respond with kindness, grace, love and all that stuff.  I'm pretty sure I said "Seriously?  It was in your face so you cut it - instead of going to get a ponytail holder or a headband??? Are you JOKING?"  I could literally feel a 37 minute lecture seeping up my throat and it was probably going to come out at a volume that I hate to hear myself talk at - so I didn't say anything further. [Does this count as self-control if all 37 minutes of lecture were still playing in my head??]  I sent Nate a text letting him know what happened (and how I really felt - sorry, Nate) and while I knew it could have been SSSOOO much worse - I was just so upset.  KIDS! SERIOUSLY. Five years from now - when her hair finally grows back out - (eye roll) - none of this will matter but that mom-coaster slung me for a loop.

This was immediately followed by a Proud-Peak-Momma-Moment when both kids spent an hour in a bridal salon while I tried on 15 dresses (some several times) sat and kept themselves occupied, shared one electronic device and one book and didn't act bored, crazy or make a scene.  The ladies in the salon complimented them several times on their behavior (which I needed after The Bangs) and on the way out another customer complimented Wyatt on his manners.  In that moment I could have given them both a trophy.

But then we came home.  And Skylar decided to practice her handstands in her room against her wall. A wall that has some low hanging frames so that she can display her artwork from school.  Frames that were apparently in the exact spot she wanted to practice. After hearing a giant bang several times coming from her room, I went to check only to find - Skylar with a nail and a hairbrush - re-hanging her frames.  DEFINITELY not in a straight line - and DEFINITELY not successfully driving the nail into the wall - rather making a random three-nail-sized hole in the wall.  And the valley of destructiveness-can't-have-anything-nice-because-my-kids-find-a-way-to-destroy-everything came crashing into view.

But then - one of those moments you want to bottle up and hold on to forever and ever because (despite the crazy) you get a small glimpse into your kids heart happened -  and I want to end my day today thinking about that - no matter what this afternoon holds.  I told the kids that we would be giving them each $10 to spend on a gift for each other - and they would get to pick whatever they wanted to give the other, buy it and wrap it themselves.  This was followed by cheers from each of them. Skylar was so excited - "What a great idea!" (Thanks, I thought so too, kid.)  "But I'm really going to need double $10. - Because I want to buy and wrap a toy for my sister in China too."  My heart stopped.  My heart that was still a little lot cranky looking at her bangs and a mind that was frustrated thinking about the suddenly-smaller hole in the wall upstairs.  My eyes welled up a little as she continued "...and I think we need to get her a stocking to hang with ours too, even if she isn't here this year - we can save her goodies until she gets here." Her heart.  HER HEART!!!  Mom-Coaster off the charts.

I really wish there was a warning label on newborns.  Caution: This baby will wreck your world in the best way possible - and the bigger they get - the bigger the wrecks.

May I always try to see past the too-short bangs, because the days really are too short.  May I try to not worry about the scuffed-up-extra-holey (did I mention they have been drawn on) walls and instead see the fact that these walls are holding up a home that is full of memories and little people God has so graciously blessed us with - and what sweet, kind, tender little ones they are.

So, on that note - I leave you with The Bangs. (She is still pretty cute.)

Friday, November 25, 2016

Home Study Visits - Check. Check. Check.

Well, I'm not 100% sure what I expected the home study to be like - but it was totally not that.

Friday evening was our first visit - 5 p.m.  I had planned things all day to keep us busy so we wouldn't be twiddling our thumbs and the kids were going to spend the night with my mom.  (YES - and miss out on the first visit - because we wanted to appear like we have it (mostly) together, duh.)  My mom came to get Wyatt in the morning - and Skylar had a doctors appointment and gymnastics - which basically took all day - because hello - doctors office during sick season -- is there anywhere that any mom wants to be LESS than the doctor's office with a well child during sick season?  I think not.  I literally saw germs on everyone as they walk through the door.  Don't touch the books in the waiting room - don't touch the doors - don't touch the counter-thingy you are supposed to sit on - basically, if there is a way to hoover in a plastic bubble that'd be great.  We finally left the petri dish - doctor's office, and made through gymnastics and by the time I dropped Skylar off with my mom it was 4:00.  I ran home (prepared to shower and get myself together) when I realized I had a project for work that was requested to be done by 5.  I scrambled to get that done - and boom - 5:00 was here and I cringed as I heard a knock on the door and realized I was still in jeans with holes and a t-shirt that said "Momma" across the front of it.  A SHIRT THAT SAID MOMMA!!!!  How much harder could I possibly have tried?  Pick me! I'm a "Momma" - even my shirt says it.  Aye aye aye.

Anyway, thankfully Nichol was so sweet and SO laid back - she instantly put me at ease.  Basically, to spare the details, a home study is very much not a study of our physical house - it is a study of the things that go on in our house - and our life in general from birth until now.  We have been asked several times what it was like - or how we feel now that it is over -- and the best way I can think to describe it is - we invited a total stranger in to our home - pointed out the highlights of our house (as seen by a toddler - since Skylar and Wyatt gave the actual tour when it was their day to be interviewed) and then we opened every closet - ever - in our entire life, and released every skeleton in those closets out into the wild to roam the halls of our home and written about by someone who has to figure out who we (and the skeletons) are in a matter of 10-12 hours.  So, at this point, I think the only thing in my life that Nichol probably doesn't know about - is that one time in high school, when my brother decided to very disrespectfully demand that I make him a sandwich, and I did - but instead of crunchy peanut butter I filled that sucker up with hamster food and gave it to him.  And then I did it again when he told me how delicious it was and that I should make him another one.  Yes. I confess.  But seriously - she asked us all the questions we never wanted to answer (and some that weren't so bad) and then patiently waited for an answer.  Questions about how we were raised, how we met, how we handle our kids, what our relationships with family look like, what type of support systems we have.....this is just the tip of the ice burg....some stuff was fun and easy to talk about (who doesn't like to talk about their kids?) and some of it was tricky and not so fun.   And you know what, she was WONDERFUL at her job - because not ONE time did I feel that she felt any kind of way about any of our answers, and for that I am grateful. She answered every question we could think of about the process, the babies she has seen first hand adopted, adjustment periods after coming home and really helped facilitate our thought process.  We have a lot of things to think about and pray about from here.

Over the holidays we will finish our training (we have 2 hours left), and begin to make some contacts at Wolfson and other area doctor offices to start building a team of physicians and support that we can call on when we get home to help with whatever potential needs our new baby might have.

We are anxious, but really can see God's hand through this entire process.

This is how we felt on Wednesday after three days of being together (that is Nichol) - like sweet friends taking a goofy pic. (Wyatt really was using his sad face for his "silly" face).

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Homestudy, Here We Come! (Ready OR NOT!)

Well, I can say one thing, you don't have time to worry about things when you have a packed calendar! When we scheduled our home study, we were over a month out and I thought, oh my word - it's probably going to drag getting here -- we are going to have this 10 hours of training done in no time - I'm going to be so bored --- neeerrrrp! Not at all.

We had a hurricane, Nate's 30th birthday, a bridal shower for by best-oldest-childhood-friend, a yard sale fundraiser, a stomach bug from you-know-where that canceled our sweet 5 year old's party - and now viola! here we are! Two days away from our first home study visit.

Let me back up the train a little and say this - we have been BLOWN away during this past month by the amount of people who have crossed our paths that have been affected by adoption one way or the other.  They were adopted - their spouses we adopted - their siblings - someone in their family adopted someone - it has been CRAZY - and SO encouraging.

Our yard sale fundraiser was a day that would not have been a success without so many people loving on us.  I will share my journal entry from the next day...

God was so very sweet to us that day.  Nate even sent me a text (he kept the sale going when I had to leave to be with my sister while she found and bought the most Ah-MAZING wedding dress) that said - someone saw our yard sale sign - and when they stopped and saw we were raising money for our adoption (we put out a "thank-you for supporting our adoption" sign at the sale) they didn't buy anything, but donated the cash they had because of how much adoption meant to them.  Nate was also able to meet their daughter - who was adopted from China.  Crazy, right?

I wish I could say that the mountain top experience of "God has totally go this" and "He is going to rock this - and we are just going to sit back and watch His hand work and give Him all the glory" feeling lasted forever.  But, total mom honesty - it didn't - as fast as that feeling of emotional high got here - it went out the door with the stomach bug.  Seriously, life happens, I get that.  But I distinctly remember in that moment at 3 a.m. exhausted, tired, with a husband who was now sick too - feeling like "you can't do this" - "you can't even cheerfully take care of two people in your family after you have been healthy for most of the year" "How in the WORLD do you think you can add someone else to the mix."  Y'all.  The struggle is real.  And somehow - I feel like it is even more real when you KNOW what you are doing is the right thing.  But you know, in the middle of that big mess - the day I was feeling way less than capable - I received a handwritten card in the mail from a sweet couple whom I haven't spoken to in person in YEARS.  And she encouraged me for my faith - encouraged us - and reminded us that people were praying for us.  Her words felt like a big huge hug in that moment - and yet another reminder that God sees - and cares - that we are not in this alone. And while we aren't capable in our own strength - His power is made PERFECT in weakness - and that His grace is enough.  

So where are we now?  We have three visits scheduled within the next week.  Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  I wish I could say i felt "prepared" - but I don't.  I wish I could say I will feel prepared - but I'm sure I won't.  There are closets that I wish were cleaner.  There are walls I wish weren't scuffed.  There are places (you know, the junk drawer) I wish would be organized before then.  But truthfully, they won't be.  And yes, the home study (from what we gather) is much more about HOW you live - than where you live - doesn't everyone get a little nervous about the thought of someone coming in and possibly looking in the closets??  It is much more about how you raise kids/plan to raise kids/were raised yourself - than the WHERE you are raising them - but still. We are just going to invite them in to our big, beautiful(ish), chaotic mess where the junk drawer(s) overflow and the kids crafts adorn every wall of the house, and pray for the best. (a.k.a. - Pray that we can all act semi-functional for 3 half days.)

So, would you pray with us?  That our nerves would be calm (mainly mine, let's be honest - Nate has no nerves - and could talk to a complete stranger about ANYTHING for ANY length of time - so he needs a lot less prayer than I do).  For open, honest, clear conversations and that we would be able to listen with open hearts. One of the big things we will discuss in further detail - will be what types of special needs our family feels equipped to handle.  Thankfully, Nate and I have been on almost the exact same page regarding this through the process so far, and I would just ask that you would pray that we receive the information we need, have truthful discussions, and that whatever path God lays before us, that we would be willing to walk it. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Where we are....

Well, I will say, I knew the paperwork process to adopt was extensive - just based on friends that have done it -- but I didn't realize how extensive it is until I was the one filling out all the papers! We turned in our "application" on August 11 - which basically stated our interest in adopting, and gave our agency information about our family. They responded by giving us access to a "preliminary application"... (which you can see Nate excited to handle here....)
This preliminary application had to be processed and approved before we could officially apply for the Adoption Program through China -- and THEN once that was approved we are finally considered "in" the program - or as we say - "paper pregnant!"
Apparently, I need lots of hydration to complete my paperwork.
From here we will have our homestudy - one for the U.S. and then more paperwork following that for China -- so the process will take months. During those months we will have more paperwork, in person meetings and also take 10 hours of training.

There will be a lot of waiting - something I am not great at.

I am counting on this being exactly where the Lord is really going to stretch me through this process.

I already recognize my desire for control (yes, I know, all my family is shocked), even though I am fully aware that I don't have any control - I like to think I do. I have always struggled with this. I like to plan. I like to prepare. I like to feel "ready".

 I am the reason we [I] made excuses for not starting this process a long time ago -- even though we knew we were called to do this. I didn't feel "ready" or "prepared" or like I could handle it. And I can't - not in my own strength. The Lord is already speaking to my heart and it has only been a little over a month. Trust Me. Let Me handle this. Listen to Me. Have I met your every need before? Can I do it now? Is My strength enough? Do you trust me? Hello. Yes. Yes. Yes.

UPDATED 10.18.2016

Over the last three weeks we have continued the pre-homestudy process....this included doctors visits for the kids, more paperwork.  Notarized documents and more paperwork.  Copies of birth certificates, tax returns, marriage licenses, job information, personal references, addresses from the time we were 18 (which we didn't realize we lived in so many places), background checks, fingerprinting, doctors appointments for us, drug screenings and TB tests.

Seriously, it took WEEKS to get everything coordinated and in one place.  I printed out the list of documents needed, and all the documents we needed signed etc - and then spoke with our agency and honestly thought, "oh - I'll get through this in a week or so if I'm really organized and have it back to her and we will be on our way in no time".  ERRRRRRRK.  I mean, I consider myself semi-highly-organized and it felt like it took FOR.EV.ER.  (I would LOVE to blame this on the fact that Nate had some papers to fill out and I had to ask him (nicely) like 65465488 times to finish them, but it wasn't that).

THEN we had a hurricane in Jacksonville (one that left us without power for 5 days AHHHHHH). Two days before the hurricane hit we went and got our TB tests.  Woops.  You know, the test you have to go back to have read 48 hours later?  My doctor was so very gracious to move my appointment up and LITERALLY wait at the office for me while the rest of downtown Jacksonville had been evacuated because they knew how much I wanted to (a) NOT get stuck again and (B) get my paperwork out ASAP -- to read my test.  (I want to always remember this: they called me that morning and asked me to come at 10:45 and I would get my results then, but then they called back (at 9:30) and told me if I couldn't be there before 10 they would have to do my test again because their building was being evacuated.  I threw the kids in the car (almost literally) and we quickly (carefully) made our way downtown in the rain - Skylar dressed head to toe in a bumblebee tutu costume and hot pink crocks, Wyatt in a pajama top and mismatched shorts and dinosaur rain boots - and I'll spare you the deets of my wardrobe but lets just say - thank you, Jesus, for baseball hats. We pulled in the parking lot at 5 til 10 and the NP checked my arm, printed out my test results on letterhead, gave the kids like 12 lollipops, a mini tour of the office and then we all "evacuated" together.  We were a hilarious sight to see, but I was thankful for them that day! No double shot for this girl!)  Nate, however, wasn't so lucky - and since his office evacuated and basically the entire city shut down for the next few days, he had to have his entire test redone - wait the 48-72 hours and THEN we could have test results.

Once all the medical testing and paperwork was organized and double checked and triple checked and yes, I even had Mimi look over everything to be sure we didn't miss any signature spots (it all looks the same after 752 pages) - we finally overnighted our paperwork.

What's Next?

We wait.  My favorite.

During the wait, we will work on completing our first 10 (of 30) hours of training.  And we will hopefully hear from our social worker and schedule our first (of four) homestudy visits.  Please pray for us! Mainly for Nate, who has to deal with me and my waiting skills.

Homestudy Study Study Study Study Study....


Here we go!  The first set of paperwork for our home study was even bigger than we expected.  (Shocker.)  

We are slowly chipping away document by document.

It has been a little overwhelming, to be honest.  Like, uh - are we sure??  I mean sure we are sure - but are we sure?  Yes.  We have no idea how this is going to work out, how the story will be written --but we know that this is God's plan for our family - and he hasn't failed us yet, and He won't start now.  He goes before us.  He knows the end of the story.  And we are choosing to trust him in the [paperwork] process.

We have claimed this song for the last few weeks -- and I think this will end up being the anthem for our adoption.  

You split the sea so I could walk right through it. 
You drown my fears in perfect love.
You rescued me so I can stand and say - 
I am a child of God.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Why Adoption??

My great grandparents were my first exposure to foster care and adoption. I was blessed to have known them. I can still remember going over to my Granny Harper and Pop's house and seeing a house full of kids. Kids from all backgrounds. Older kids. Babies. Toddlers. Some easy to love and some not. Granny loved them all. And she loved them all well - just like they were hers. They didn't have much, but they were a family.

I distinctly remember going over one night (I can't even remember what for) but I walked through the front porch and into the kitchen, and granny had a table full of kids, all eating out of pie tins for plates. Granny and Pop didn't change the world, but they (unknowingly) changed mine. They opened my eyes, even as a kid, to people who were different than me. Kids that didn't grow up the way I did, with a mom and dad who love me. They showed me that everyone, regardless of the life they are born into, deserves love. And I feel like even as a kid, I knew that one day, I would adopt. 


 Nate and I have discussed adoption since our first (real) date, I think. [You know - the date where I put it all out there - because I knew I was moving away to college and I really did't know if I wanted to be interested enough in another person to even attempt the long distance thing? That date. The one where I totally tried to come across as the crazy girl who really didn't want to go to school to be anything more than a mom, but I wanted to move away because I just wanted to breathe on my own, figure out who I am, and boys stink and always break my heart, and I'm only here for the free dinner, and did I mention I really just want to get married and have babies, and adopt babies from other places, and have animals, and more babies, and cook and bake for my family - but I'm moving away and so you really don't want to get involved know, that date?] Apparently, Nate had a thing for crazy girls that just want to bake and have babies - that or he really likes a good show. Both. Anyway, that was the first mention of adoption in our relationship. Then we went to Mexico together and saw sweet babies there and immediately I thought, if this is the guy, what if this is the place? Oh, shoot, wait, I was trying not to like him. Then I saw him with babies and...the rest, they say, is history.


 A year into being married - and I'll spare the details - but we weren't sure if biological babies were in the cards for us. After another year of "trying" - (I hate that expression so very much - like, yes, we are "trying" isn't everyone "trying" and yes we have "tried" and its really fun to "try" until you really want to "try" I mean - seriously - bllleech) -- we decided, maybe adoption is what God is calling us to do for all of our kids. And that was totally fine, honestly. As we started really thinking and looking into what it would take to start the process, we realized (1) we were really "young" for a couple wanting to adopt internationally - most countries have age restrictions and (2) holy cow, expensive. No sooner did we start really looking at our options, I was pregnant. Funny how that works? Or is it?


Two kids later, we really started discussing our family "plan". (Kinda like the conversation we had after having ONE baby -- something like, remember how we both said we wanted lots of babies -- do you see how much work this is?? Should we reconsider??) What does it look like now? What does adoption mean to us now? As parents, I think we look at adoption TOTALLY different than we did when we didn't have kids and we just wanted to be parents. If that makes any sense. Now it wasn't just adopting a child because we felt called, and because we wanted to have a family. We looked at Skylar and Wyatt and thought, how could anyone not want their babies? Or not be willing to make whatever sacrifice they needed to to keep them? Or even - how in the world could a birth mom love her baby so much, that she would give them to a family who could give them something different than what she could. The thought of this really takes my breath away.

We attended an information meeting in Orlando last August - just to see if we were on the right track and what we needed to do to really get started. The lady hosting the meeting said it best, it was like drinking from a fire hydrant. So.Much.Information. We left confused. Were we even called to do this? Yes. Should we be adopting locally instead of internationally? I don't know. Can we do this? Yes. The paperwork! How? When? Where? I don't know!! We knew we were still called. We knew we could do it. We were just scared. So we waited. For a better time.


January. Job Switch. We had been in the same place at UPS for ten(+) years. Stressed - sure. Not the greatest hours - sure. Holiday schedules stink - definitely. But we never worried about what we wanted to do, and when we wanted to do things, or how we would do things. Our security, quite honestly, found in a job.  And then here we found ourselves with a much better schedule, and less stress - and a giant question mark of well, we were about to start this adoption, but can we do this? Should we do this? No. Surely this timing is not right. For months we went back and forth on what was right for our family. This [adoption] can not possibly be what we should be doing right now. It makes no [financial] sense. We had talked, prayed, discussed, looked in to, researched and never ever felt at peace.  In my head, I honestly wanted the lack of peace to be because -- in my must-have-a-plan-that-makes-sense world -- it didn't make sense, therefore why consider something that might take me out of my comfortable little world?  Yet, in my heart of hearts I knew that it was the Lord saying to me (probably screaming, honestly)  I'm calling you to do this! Do you trust me?  Have I failed you yet??  Why won't you just LET me??


Everywhere we went -- ADOPTION.  Song on the radio.  Pastor mentions it (and how we are all called in some way to care for the orphans, or that we have ALL been adopted into the Family of God).  LITERALLY, Skylar meets a new friend, whose mom informs me - oh yeah, we just got home from Thailand - she is adjusting beautifully.  What???   Okay, God! I hear you! I see you!  Finally, one night, we are again discussing logistics -- and how I (it's me -- it is always me) just don't know -- and Nate says - Carrie, I think we just need to do it.  We need to fill out the paperwork and TRUST GOD (what a concept) to work out all that other stuff.  As I started to make another excuse...or reason with him...he says (patiently) - I think we will start tomorrow....

So here we are. Adopting from China.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Another kid, a New House and a Giant Puppy Later...

Wow. It has been almost four years since I have blogged. Life is whizzing by at the speed of toddlers and sure isn't slowing down.

Sweet Skylar is almost 5 and has a blog post for every month of her first year of life. And Wyatt (oh yeah, I had another baby) has turned two (did I mention it was a while ago?) and he barely has pants on most days, much less a blog post. For that I am truly sorry, son. Thankfully, Wyatt has loads of cute captions on monthly photos all tucked away on the shelf in the living room thanks to social media advances and an app called chatbooks. For that I am truly grateful.

So here we are four years later. Skylar is in VPK and would stay at school all week - not even coming home on the weekends - if she could. She is in gymnastics and loves it so much that we have lost 1 towel rod and 1 curtain rod to bar routines, and a toilet seat to a split-jump landing (which is apparently hard to stick when you land between the wall and the commode and the seat lands across the bathroom). She is creative, funny, motherly, passionate - she loves people, cooking, dressing up and animals. Then there is the Wy Guy (which we totally swore we would never call him while I was pregnant - and here we are). Wyatt is two and has literally made me reconsider every parenting thing I thought I had figured out on the first go around. He never slept - and still sometimes doesn't. He didn't say much - just screamed - until he started talking and now he does't stop talking (unless he is screaming). He is funny, sweet, shy and tender. Boy, is he all boy. Rough. Strong. He is just my little boyfriend. He could be outside all day long and would never wear clothes if we didn't make him. 

When I first started this blog, it was so my family could keep up with Nate (and his family) and me while we went on a post-college graduation trip to Europe - where we got engaged. Then it turned into a documentary for our first pregnancy which turned into blogging Skylar's first year of life. Then she started walking and moving around and I barely sat down again to pee, much less write. Until tonight. I am (We are) dusting off the blog to document our newest adventure - and possibly the scariest (but totally worth it) one yet. Our Adoption Story.