Monday, January 30, 2012

Ten Things They Didn't Tell Me

***DISCLAIMER***
In NO WAY WHATSOEVER is this post meant to be read as complaining! Being a mom is the best thing that ever happened to me! This is simply me trying to look back at all the things I didnt expect during the first month or so that totally took me by surprise and find the humor in them! :)

Ten things they didn't tell me about having a baby.......

10. No one told me about the wonderful underpants the hospital would give me to wear after childbirth. 10 whole feet of gauzy goodness guaranteed to make you think granny panties are sexy.

9. They told me I would feel instantly skinny again right after I had her, what they didn't tell me was that this is merely a FEELING. A feeling that is instantly removed by trying on my pre pregnancy pants only to find that the ones that I COULD get buttoned left me with a muffin top big enough to make Otis Spunkmeyer jealous.

8. No one told me how big my boobs were going to get. Okay, maybe they did - but I just didn't think by "big" they meant literally I would have boobs from my navel to my neck.

7. No one told me that for the first two weeks (at least) that I would wake up in an absolute delirious panic thinking I had fallen asleep in bed while feeding my child and that I had somehow lost her under the covers or smothered her, only to find it had only been 15 minutes since I put her back in her own bed.

6. I was not warned that my life would be lived in 4 hour increments. That there is officially a "window" of opportunity and if you miss the window you will pay dearly.

5. No one told me that if I let that first tear fall, you know, the one that had been stinging the back of my throat since I saw her face....let that one little sucker out- and prepare to cry for a month. No really. At least a month. And no I'm not sad, or mad, or happy or glad...I'm just exhausted. Flipping. Tired. And probably hungry.

4. They said breast-feeding would hurt - they did not say that you would rather scoop your own eyeballs out with plastic spoons for fun than to have that sweet baby latch on. Will I ever wear a shirt or bra again without cringing?

3. No one warned me that when I randomly heard the song "burning ring of fire" all I would be able to think about was "Holy Pete, is this song about dilating and a baby crowning....cause it sure sounds like a natural labor"....

2. No one told me that after childbirth every time I sneeze, laugh, cough, run or Heck, just sit in the wrong position - I run the risk of peeing my pants.

1. No one warned me that with all this other junk going on...while I could hardly stand the thought of
...shall we say....."getting my groove on".....my husband would remind me approximately 4 times per day just how many days, hours and minutes were left until my 6 week post baby appointment and what that meant...... seriously....
does he not know what turned his wife into this giant leaky, overly sensitive weepy milk machine?



Top ten things they didn't tell me.....breast feeding edition....

10. Your boobs are going to hurt.
9. They are gonna hurt for days.
8. They are gonna hurt even worse than the "burning ring of fire" for even longer than just days...
7. You will want to walk around with no bra and you will not care that there is a lovely little milk trail following you around the house on the floor
6. Four hours never passes as quickly as it does when your nipples feel like they will fall off if that baby gets ahold of them again.
5. Did I mention that it hurts...a lot....
4. Removal of your breasts completely by chainsaw with no numbing medication would feel like a massage compared to the first week of breastfeeding...
3. You will probably never run again with just one sports bra ....ever....
2. Your husband - who unfortunately has never seen such spectacles protruding from your chest....may or may not be left with just a nub if he attempts to touch these new boobs.
1. You will never look at your boobs the same again. In the words of a wise friend of mine " these are milk trucks, my friend, not fun bags. "

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Two Months

Dear Sweet Skylar,

Wow. I can't even start a post to you without welling up with tears. I just absolutely overflow with love for you. The past two months have FLOWN by - I can't believe I have had the priveledge of being your mommy for 62 days! They have been the most rewarding 62 days of my life. I can't remember life without you!

You are growing so fast! Too fast! Please slow down! You have had so many first this past month! Everyday your daddy and I say you are more beautiful than the day before! You sure have him wrapped.

In the past month you had your first Christmas. You won't remember it - but I will never forget it. I - I mean Santa - was so excited to fill your stocking (with baby jeans, bows and shoes!) and wrap presents for you! You were definitely spoiled! My favorite part of Christmas this year was holding you and knowing you were the best present I could have ever prayed for! You went to church for the first time on Christmas Eve - we had a little "discussion" on the way to church about talking and crying in church - you must have listened because you behaved like an angel! :)

You had your first real smile - and once you started smiling you never stopped. I am so thankful that you always start your night time feedings off by giving me that big - sweet - gummy grin - I live for that 4am smile!

Your eyelashes are to.die.for. - they have gotten so much darker in the past month. One more thing you got from your daddy. :)

You love it when you sneeze - you think it is so funny! When daddy or I blow in your face you want to laugh so bad but haven't let it out yet!

You started to coo - and love it when daddy or I mimic you back! I could talk to you for hours! (if only you would stay awake!)

You are wearing size 1 diapers (and still hate a wet or dirty diaper) - I think the record at this point is 4 diapers in a 15 minute period! I am sure hoping this makes you easy to potty train!

Your clothes are all size 3 month - and boy do you look great in a bow! You have one for every outfit - and if you don't - I make one for you before we wear that outfit out! :)

You got your shots at your two month appointment on January 4 - and boy did it break my heart to see those two real tears come out of your eyes! When you wrapped your arms around my neck and cried - I would have given you the moon to make you feel better! I hated every second of it for you! You weighed in at 10 pounds 8 ounces and you are 23 3/4 inches tall! Our long skinny little peanut!

You are finally starting to enjoy being on your back - for SHORT periods of time - especially in your baby gym that your Grams got you for Christmas.

You are scooting from one end of your crib to the other and even turning around. You are rolling from your belly to your back - and boy can I tell when you have done it and woke yourself up during the middle of the night! That is a cry like none other - and flipping you to your belly solves all your problems instantly!

You LOVE being read to - and are starting to focus on the book if we put the pictures in front of you.

Your little personality is definitely starting to come through and I can see we are going to have a little spitfire on our hands! I wouldn't have it anyother way!

You make my world go around - you are the sunshine in my days, Skylar. I am so very very thankful to be your mommy. I have prayed for you since before I knew you and I never imagined how you would change my life.

When your daddy prays over you each night before we tuck you in we always pray that you will know Jesus early and always love him - without HIM I wouldn't have your daddy or you!

I can't wait to watch you grow over the next month and see how much more beautiful you become!

Love you my sweet girl.
Mommy

Christmas

Skylar's First Christmas

Obviously was way more fun for us that it was for her - although - we did have a very happy smiley girl on Christmas day! It was a full 3 days of family. I am so very thankful to have had Nate home for three days - even though the weeks leading up to Christmas were really tough with him working so much. I am so truly thankful for his job and how it allows me to stay home with our sweet little joybell! :)

We had Christmas with Nate's Jacksonville family on Wednesday night before they headed to Virginia. Skylar went to church for the first time on Christmas Eve (she behaved like an angel!) Followed by our annual Christmas Eve family party at my parents. Christmas morning we spent at home all together just soaking up the time as our new family of three - Skylar was WAAAAAY spoiled from EVERYONE! She just kept grinning all morning - I think she was excited about all her new clothes! :) Everyone was exhausted when our three day weekend was over - but we are all so very blessed and happy! Looking forward to what the next year holds!

As much fun as I had this year - I know next year will be even more fun!! :0)