Monday, November 30, 2009

Thankfulness

I think this past year has been such a whirlwind for me personally, and sometimes its in those times that I forget how truly truly blessed I am.

I am so thankful for Nate. He is such a hard worker - constantly doing more - even when I know the schedule he has right now can be completely exhausting. I couldn't have asked for a more caring, kind, generous, warm, friendly husband.

I am thankful for our new home...while it's easy to look around and think, man I would have to have a new this and a new that - and what about this and that - I have so much!

I am thankful for families that love Nate and I more than we even realize - thankful for parents on both sides that taught us well, and continue to support us on our life journey.

I am thankful for our church! Nate and I would have never met had it not been for FBC. I am specifically thankful for the engaged couples class that we were in - it definitely prepared us for things we didn't see coming! ;)

I am thankful for our sweet puppies - who knew when we brought home two wiggly little furballs that couldnt figure out that carpet and grass are two different things - that I would end up loving them! I can't imagine what children will feel like! They are the best company every night waiting on Nate to get home- and they always keep me laughing - even when I come home to 7 pairs of destroyed shoes.

I am thankful for a job that brings me joy...even on the not so fun days. Thankful for all the survivor stories I hear, and for all the encourgement that I receive from our patients.

I am thankful that Jesus Christ has saved me, changed me, and made me a better person. I hope that in all I do, I am a small reflection of Him. I hope that I can always be sweet and kind with a heart open to his will.

And most importantly, I am thankful that I have hope for a future. A future that Lord willing will be exciting, full of adventure, and happy.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Almost a YEAR??

I can hardly believe it's been almost a YEAR since Nate and I started on this marraige journey together! It has been a super busy, super wonderful whirlwind - and I wouldn't change one minute.
I changed jobs in March. We bought a house in June, remodeled slightly for a month, moved in July, went on vacation in August - Nate applied for police academy somewhere in between all that - and we just returned from a VA/DC trip to see his family...and here comes Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and our one year anniversary!

I haven't written in awhile - but think I should start again - I miss writing!

Hopefully I can post some pictures of our adventures this year soon! :)

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Big Day

So, I was told that I would not remember my wedding day, that it would go by so fast it would be a big blur in my mind - but thankfully that wasn't the case - but I figured I should write it all down so that I will remember all the details! :)

I am so thankful to have had Beka spend the night with me the night before so I will start there.....

I remember leaving the rehersal dinner with Nate, getting gas so that I wouldn't have to do it in the morning, and going home for the last time as a "miss". I remember Nate leaving after a long talk of what I needed to not forget in the morning, and how was BShep getting to the church from the airport, and how we would not talk after midnight...

I remember cleaning the house, packing for the church and running around with Beka realizing sleep wasn't coming for a while.... I remember putting out all the new shower stuff, and getting the new bedding ready to put on in the morning. I remember finally settling in around 12am to try to sleep after setting the alarm for 5....I remember laying there thinking that at least two hours has past, only to check the clock and see it was 12:07am....I remember closing my eyes, and "drifting off to sleep" only to crack one eye to check the clock and see 12:13am.....I remember Beka sneezing and me asking her if she was sleeping yet, and us talking about how it had to be almost 3am by now...only to find it was 12:24am..... I remember getting out of bed and both of us snuggling on the couches, putting in a DVD and finally falling to sleep, only to jerk myself awake thinking I missed the alarm at 3:45am....I remember not being able to go back to sleep, but laying there until 4:30am when I finally got up to get cold rags for Beka and I to try to relieve our sleepy bags under our eyes... I remember changing the sheets on the bed, plugging in the rollers, and trying to make oatmeal with shaky hands, only to add to much milk, put the sheet on inside out, and trip the breaker for the plug...

I remember having my hair in rollers, trying to shower and not slice my leg while I shaved...thankfully I was successful there...
I remember starting to put my hair up, praying all along that it would turn out like I had practiced and that I wouldnt have any "holes" ...I remember getting halfway through and thinking - it has NEVER worked this good, Im so glad I cut it a little and thank you Jesus for steadying my hands... I remember Beka trying to leave in the morning and offering to pray with me .. only in time for both of us to bust in to tears....I remember shooing her out the door, telling her to pray in her heart and that everything would be fine... wasnt that HER line? ;)

I remember getting finished with my hair...being exstatic with how it turned out and praying that I didn't forget anything...I rememeber calling my mom...only to find that her phone was turned off and she had already left the house....just like normal...I mean its not like this is my wedding day or anything..its not like I might NEED her....

I remember applying deoderant for the 6th time before walking down the stairs with a bag of toiletries bigger around than me - "just in case".... I remember getting out of the car in the 20 degree weather to check for the 3rd time to make sure the rings were in the bag that I packed them in three days before.....

I remember getting to the University Blvd exit...singing at the top of my lungs to "amazing love" and then crying and smiling and laughing for no apparent reason all the way to the church...I remember being so excited to see "bride parking only" on the meter outside of the church, and almost falling over laughing seeing meg trudge down the sidewalk with an oversized coffee mug, bedroom slippers and rollers in her hair...didn't her mother tell her never to leave the house like that? :) ha

I remember getting in the brides room, realizing there was no WAY anyone was getting dressed when it was colder in there than it was outside where the thermometer was reading a warm 33 degrees... I remember finding the heater and wanting to stand there for an hour, but realizing I had to get Colette all ready before I started on myself...


I remember getting Colette's makeup out and putting it on her thinking all along, I can't have her looking prettier than me...I better take some of this off! :) but I didn't...cause she's beautiful....I remember having Beka deliver my letter and cuff links to Nate, hoping he liked them...and never expecting to get anything back...I remember crying my eyes out (thankful that I hadnt done MY makeup yet) when I read the sweetest letter I have ever been written from Nathan, and thanking God for putting such an amazing man in my life...

I remember the flowers being delivered and seeing my bouquet for the first time....boy did Ms. Pat outdo herself - I was absolutely blown away by how beautiful they turned out - even better than I expected!

I remember Grandma coming in the brides room to sit while we finished getting ready for pictures, and having her watch me in the mirror getting ready making eye contact and having her smile her sweet smile...I remember looking in the back mirror and realizing that I have the most beautiful friends inside and out, and being so thankful that they were all there to share in my day and support my decision to marry Nate..I remember being silly on camera because I knew if I said something sappy I would cry and not be able to stop...

I remember all the girls being dressed and finally getting to get into my dream dress, praying that it fit, but realizing I was so hungry the only thing I REALLY wanted at that moment was a cinnamon bagel! I remember feeling so beautiful, and for the first time actually being able to say thank you - I FEEL pretty....
I remember mom twisting the necklace I borrowed from grandma into the perfect bracelet for my "something borrowed" and when I showed it to Grandma I will NEVER forget her looking up into my eyes from her little perch, her squeezing my waist and saying...your dress is beautiful and so are you.....I will NEVER forget that moment...

I remember seeing my dad for the first time in my dress, and seeing in his eyes that he was so proud of me...without him having to say a word....I remember feeling so happy...so happy that I could genuinely say I have never been happier....

I remember taking the first set of pictures with my bridesmaids and feeling so silly
when Jen said "now look at each other and smile" ....and I remember my face hurting so bad that I thought it was going to fall off...

I remember Clayton coming in and trying to tell me that BSheps plane was late, his tux was left in Atlanta, they were getting a tux but it would be different, it still had to be altered and we HOPE it will be here by noon...all the while my mom is saying shut up...motioning for him to hush and trying to shoo him away...but not before I get all the details ...only for me to be the one that says...it will be okay..no worries..if its late we will wait...it will all work out....again..isn't that someone elses line? :)

I remember finally getting finished with pictures, and begging for water.....thinking its got to be almost time to walk down the aisle by now...only to find out I still had an HOUR to wait....and wondering...how in the world do people have 7pm weddings?!?! what do they DO all day long!? I remember dancing around the room to shania's "I feel like a Woman" and being so happy to be surrounded with wonderful friends...and the most beautiful sisters in the world...I remember Breck coming to see me before the ceremony, and I remember being blown away when he told me I looked great....knowing that he never says anything nice just because he has too and knowing I would remember that quick moment forever...

I remember it finally being time to walk down the aisle, each bridesmaid had a tissue around their bouquet...everyone on the verge of tears except me...all I could think about was how hungry I was... I remember standing in the room with my dad while Clayton Bailey offered me a sour patch kid which immediately got stuck in my teeth while my father says...you arent gonna be able to get that out before you go down the aisle...I remember right before my song started...my dad squeezing my arm...saying you look beautiful and this is your day...but I want you to know...that if you aren't 100% positive that you want to do this..you and I can leave right now...and that would be okay.....
I also remember the extreme ammount of relief that came over his face when I said ...it's okay daddy, I have never been more positive....and his sigh of relief followed by..."okay, good"....:)

I remember getting that feeling in my stomach right before it was time to break the threshold of the back door, you know the feeling like you are about to pull the rip cord of the bungee jump and fall 5,000 feet....
I remember rounding the corner seeing Nate take the biggest breathe ever...and hearing his voice in my head " you better look directly at me the whole way down the aisle...no one else...just look at me"....
I remember fighting back tears of joy - talking to myself saying it has taken you WAY to long to get your mascara right today...you have NEVER spent this much time on makeup - dont you ruin it with tears!!

I remember getting down to the alter ... mouthing I love you to Nate and feeling my dad's arm tighten when I squeezed him tight...as if he was hugging me....

I remember my dad joining my hand with Nate's as he gave me away and hearing him sniffle as he gave Nate a hug and turned to take his seat...

I remember walking up the stairs, handing off my bouquet and turning to face the man I was about to give my forever too....realizing that my hands we about to slide straight out of his because they were soaked with sweat and shaking...

I remember trying not to laugh and thinking that I could see in Nate's face that it was killing him not to be able to kiss me first thing when he saw me....I remember saying our vows and giggling while Nate stumbled over his words, realizing that he was just as nervous and excited and I was...and realizing how giddy I must have looked with a smile from ear to ear...
I remember kneeling on the bench to pray and having Nate confirm exactly what I knew he was thinking when he whispered...man I just want to kiss you so bad...
I remember bowing my head to pray and taking turns with Nate, praying for the beginning of this journey we are starting together, and that the Lord will take us and mold us into the indivuals as well as the couple that he wants us to be...I remember Nate praying that we would forever make people sick when they see how in love we are, and that they would always see Jesus in us together...
I remember both of us praying for what seemed like forever...and it only lasting through the first chorus of the song....and then talking and giggling like we were in our own world for the rest of the time...I remember thinking in my head...dont forget to get your flowers after the kiss before you walk down to do the unity sand...
I remember the kiss...long and sweet..."for the camera" ... but feeling like it was a forever long kiss that was making everyone nausious....while cameras clicked away...
I remember realizing when I got to the second stair that I had forgotten my flowers.. :) I remember seeing Ms. Makepeace in the back waving to beka like she was trying to land a jet plane trying to tell her how to get my flowers back to me before the last "bonus" kiss without ruining the entire ceremony that she had so perfectly coordinated...

I remember saying woopsie as I poured green sand all over the floor instead of into the jar, and thinking wow that was classy :) .. I remember the quick bonus kiss and hearing my new name for the first time... Mrs. Cass....

I remember almost running down the aisle into the bridesroom wanting to scream with excitment and kissing Nate like it was the very first time all over again...

I remember my mom rushing up to us..telling us how adorable we were on the kneeling bench and how everyone was crying...and me thinking...why was everyone crying... my giggle box was almost tumped over and THAT would have been trouble..

I remember realizing that I had made it through all of the TOUGH stuff without getting sick or having a major breakdown...

I remember taking more pictures with family, with the groomsmen..with my GROOM...my HUSBAND...and worrying that we were keeping our guests waiting too long...

I remember driving to the town center thinking man is this day really here, are we sure this isnt a dress rehersal...is it really almost halfway over??

I remember getting to the town center..only to find there was a line of cars from the back of maggianos all the way to the front of the town center all of them waiting for a good parking spot..and me thinking...dont they know Im going to be late to my wedding reception if they dont MOVE... I mean seriously..it wont hurt you to walk...just DRIVE!!

I remember getting, being annouced as Mr and Mrs Cass and having our first dance...I remember thinking Nate's mom is going to hate us for doing the circle dance..but I dont care because I have never been happier and feeling like we were completely alone in the room full of people...

I remember sitting down to eat ... FINALLY....getting that blessed dark sweet honey from heaven known as diet coke...requesting a straw....and realizing I was shaking I was so hungry...I remember taking 5 bites of salad and feeling completely stuffed :)

I remember dancing and singing with my bridesmaids to Circle of Friends and once again realizing that without them I would never be who I am today...

I remember running around the room, trying to visit with everyone and say something to everyone individually ...but realizing that the only words that would come out were "thank you for coming.. I really appreciate it" bla bla bla and not being able to think about anything except how happy I was...

I remember getting out on the dance floor to do some line dances and feeling like boy I hope Im not the only one that wants to boogey :)
I remember dancing with my dad for the first time in my life, and knowing that he was only doing it for me...I remember him telling me over and over how happy he was...how grateful he was for me...and that I was beautiful...he really was my first and only true love until Nate and I know that I will never forget those moments that he danced with me...
I remember dancing with my bridesmaids and friends to several other linedances and being so happy to see everyone laughing and having a good time = even if they didnt get out of their seat... I remember catching my mom out of the corner of my eye - trying to learn a dance and being tickled pink that she was out their having just as much fun as I was...

I remember praying that the day would never end.. and that eveyone would just have a little bit of the fun I was having...because it was the best day of my life..

I remember cutting the cake - and thinking..how in the world am I going to get this piece out without making the whole thing topple over like JENGA? I remember Nate spreading icing on my nose then kissing it off...

I remember sitting in the chair waiting for Nate to go for the garter and thinking boy.. I hope my legs arent as sweaty as they feel :) I remember seeing him get a running start and thinking he is NOT going to slide on his belly to get this thing... oh my gosh.. he is SLIDING on his belly!!
I remember throwing the bouquet and Nate telling me to get it to Beka so that he would get the garter to another certain someone...and me trying not to look like I was throwing it to her..but apparently hitting her square in the chest..boy THAT wasnt obvious :) I remember Nate shooting the garter back and the boys not even seeing it come at them..

I remember dancing some more...and getting a sad feeling when I realized the day was coming to an end...
I remember Roy shooing everyone out of the room so that we could have our last dance completely alone before we left...
I remember Nate saying he was so excited about the song he had found for us to dance to...and then his face when he realized it was the wrong one playing...but it didnt matter one bit to either of us...because we were married...

I remember the song ending and us joining hands running through a sea of rose petals to the car..only to find that I couldnt even get in my seat because the whole car was filled with balloons...I remember getting in, waving goodbye...and having Nate look over, grab my hand and say....are you ready?...here we go....I remember driving off...looking at Nate and being so completely ovewhelmed that I couldn't say anything...but thinking in my heart......
this was the best day of my life ..... so far..... and it's going to get even better....

unbelievable.

Monday, January 12, 2009

The Final Countdown...


AHHH!!! I can't believe this week has begun - I feel like I am in a slow motion movie and I'm trying to sprint through day after day but I can only run in slow mo :) ... pretty funny visual!

The final countdown - only 5 days til the biggest day of my life so far!! There are so many things still to do - and I am so thankful to be surrounded by my family and my NEW family - and with everyone being so encouraging - this week shouldn't be too uneventful!

Anyway, Just thought I would "scream" in blog language what I am wanting to scream outloud at work right now..."I'M GETTING MARRRRRRRIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDD!!!!" - only at work that would be a little innapropriate!

:D