Friday, November 25, 2016

Home Study Visits - Check. Check. Check.

Well, I'm not 100% sure what I expected the home study to be like - but it was totally not that.

Friday evening was our first visit - 5 p.m.  I had planned things all day to keep us busy so we wouldn't be twiddling our thumbs and the kids were going to spend the night with my mom.  (YES - and miss out on the first visit - because we wanted to appear like we have it (mostly) together, duh.)  My mom came to get Wyatt in the morning - and Skylar had a doctors appointment and gymnastics - which basically took all day - because hello - doctors office during sick season -- is there anywhere that any mom wants to be LESS than the doctor's office with a well child during sick season?  I think not.  I literally saw germs on everyone as they walk through the door.  Don't touch the books in the waiting room - don't touch the doors - don't touch the counter-thingy you are supposed to sit on - basically, if there is a way to hoover in a plastic bubble that'd be great.  We finally left the petri dish - doctor's office, and made through gymnastics and by the time I dropped Skylar off with my mom it was 4:00.  I ran home (prepared to shower and get myself together) when I realized I had a project for work that was requested to be done by 5.  I scrambled to get that done - and boom - 5:00 was here and I cringed as I heard a knock on the door and realized I was still in jeans with holes and a t-shirt that said "Momma" across the front of it.  A SHIRT THAT SAID MOMMA!!!!  How much harder could I possibly have tried?  Pick me! I'm a "Momma" - even my shirt says it.  Aye aye aye.

Anyway, thankfully Nichol was so sweet and SO laid back - she instantly put me at ease.  Basically, to spare the details, a home study is very much not a study of our physical house - it is a study of the things that go on in our house - and our life in general from birth until now.  We have been asked several times what it was like - or how we feel now that it is over -- and the best way I can think to describe it is - we invited a total stranger in to our home - pointed out the highlights of our house (as seen by a toddler - since Skylar and Wyatt gave the actual tour when it was their day to be interviewed) and then we opened every closet - ever - in our entire life, and released every skeleton in those closets out into the wild to roam the halls of our home and written about by someone who has to figure out who we (and the skeletons) are in a matter of 10-12 hours.  So, at this point, I think the only thing in my life that Nichol probably doesn't know about - is that one time in high school, when my brother decided to very disrespectfully demand that I make him a sandwich, and I did - but instead of crunchy peanut butter I filled that sucker up with hamster food and gave it to him.  And then I did it again when he told me how delicious it was and that I should make him another one.  Yes. I confess.  But seriously - she asked us all the questions we never wanted to answer (and some that weren't so bad) and then patiently waited for an answer.  Questions about how we were raised, how we met, how we handle our kids, what our relationships with family look like, what type of support systems we have.....this is just the tip of the ice burg....some stuff was fun and easy to talk about (who doesn't like to talk about their kids?) and some of it was tricky and not so fun.   And you know what, she was WONDERFUL at her job - because not ONE time did I feel that she felt any kind of way about any of our answers, and for that I am grateful. She answered every question we could think of about the process, the babies she has seen first hand adopted, adjustment periods after coming home and really helped facilitate our thought process.  We have a lot of things to think about and pray about from here.

Over the holidays we will finish our training (we have 2 hours left), and begin to make some contacts at Wolfson and other area doctor offices to start building a team of physicians and support that we can call on when we get home to help with whatever potential needs our new baby might have.

We are anxious, but really can see God's hand through this entire process.

This is how we felt on Wednesday after three days of being together (that is Nichol) - like sweet friends taking a goofy pic. (Wyatt really was using his sad face for his "silly" face).

2 comments:

Lisa Appelo said...

Carrie! You gave him hamster food?! Twice...hahaha. Gonna be an exciting year for the Cass family. I'm excited for you!

Carrie Cass said...

In my defense - it's basically sunflower seeds and nuts? Haha