March 22, 2010

Some of thse who are closest to Nate and I know that we have been thinking about a baby for a while, but not knowing if having one was in the cards for us. I have always been a "lucky" girl when it came to that certain monthly visitor...who very rarely - if ever - seemed to come visit me! Never did I imagine that there would be days when all I wanted was to be "normal" in the girl department. :)

Anyway, when Nate and I started dating - and once we started being "serious" and the subject of kids came up....I always made it very clear that I wanted to be a mom more than anything, I would love to have kids of my own...but ALSO I ALWAYS wanted to adopt - at least one! I was so thankful to meet someone who was open to the idea - jackpot!

Nate and I never really worried about being able to have kids, but once nate said ... "I'm ready"...oh boy! I began to panic a little! I mean, dont get me wrong, I want to be a mom as much as I want to have a zoo in my backyard...maybe even more :) - but the thought of "trying" (which i HATE that expression) to have a baby scared the bejeez out of me!

Anyway, long story short, 9 months, 4 "ultrasounds" and a TON of dr visits later - we were told, "well....without a cycle it is very hard to determine if you will be able to get pregnant on your own...but here are your options..." Bla Bla Bla...I have to say, there are a TON of options out there for treatments, and I think that at this point in my life I truly feel like if God wants me to have a child of my own, he will provide one, IN HIS TIME.
In the mean time, we will just continue to grow closer together, have fun, take awesome trips, work on the house, spoil the dogs and dream of what our family will look like one day!
(**We have already been looking into adoption - internationally - and are VERY excited to be able to submit our paperwork **hopefully** in Jan 2012! )

Anyway, I say all that to say this....sometimes letting go of things we can't control, and I mean REALLY letting go, being okay with where we are right now, with what we have right now, and not worrying about tomorrow....allows God to surprise in the best ways....

I mean the best ways...

I mean like positive pregnancy test(s) ways....


Yes, about 3 weeks after my last Dr. appt where I was offered "options" to pursue - to see if we could have a child on our own.....a week after starting to feel "funny" and 3 tests later.....
we have a miracle. :)

Its so funny how the mixed emotions have been for us, sadness for girls I know who are still struggling with this, excitement to see what the baby will look like, scared-ness about this whole pregnancy thing/miscarraige/healthy baby, nervousness to tell people - how long should we wait...ect....but most of all complete shock and awe over the fact that the morning before I took the test, when I was feeling a little sad and discouraged, I read THIS is my quiet time...Jeremiah 1:19 -- "I am with you, and I will take care of you, says the Lord"

crazy. you would think by now - I would know this - but thankfully, the Lord knows I always need a little reminder - and he always gives it to me right when I need it!
Throughout the past several weeks of the nerves/scared/anxious feelings I have had - I have gone right back to this verse and know that no matter what happens - the Lord WILL take care of me!

So I guess this is our official announcement....We get to be parents. :)

So.Stinkin.Excited........