Tuesday - November 8, 2011 8:58 p.m. - The day my life changed forever.
Disclaimer: This post is a small novel - and has not been checked for spelling and grammar. :)
Well, let's back up this story train to Thursday - November 3rd - I had my weekly appointment - the first weekly appointment where they would begin to check for progress. Nate couldn't go but my mom was able to - I just felt like I would need someone there with me. Mom picked me up from work around 4 - and we headed to the doctor. When she checked me, I was really expecting her to say no progress and that things were on track for a delivery around November 27th still - instead I heard...You are 4 cent, and very soft - I think we might have a baby tonight - if not tonight, it will definitely be tomorrow!
If you could have seen my face - AND mom's I think that would have said it all! WHAT??!! I was in shock - I think I said - "Anita, are you sure?" At least 15 times and then finally said -- "well, how sure is sure - like percentage wise?" ....she responded with "80% sure." Uhh...That's like a B average in school - right? She told me I was contracting - she could feel it - I thought that Skylar had just been rolling up into my ribs and then rolling back down, nothing hurt - so I never imagined that those feelings were contractions. She told me to go home, walk a little, but mainly rest and to come see her at 9 a.m. the next morning for a recheck if I didn't call her in labor that night.
When she finally left the room - I looked at mom and said/cried - I'm not ready! I'm not packed! Oh my goodness - I don't have this - I don't have that - the house is a mess - I still have a shower to go to on Saturday- she's not supposed to be here until the end of the month - what about work...blablabla....What is Nate going to say?...
Mom just replied - "You are ready, you're going to have a baby!" With a giddy - first-time-Mimi look on her face. When we made it to the car, I called Nate - knowing as soon as I heard his voice I would start bawling - (and I did) - "Nate, Anita said we are going to have a baby" Nate - "I know baby, whats wrong" - "No, I mean Anita said we are going to have a baby - like TONIGHT!" ...."What? Tonight? Are you sure? That's AWESOME! Aren't you excited?! Really? Really? Tonight? Really?!?" Needless to say, he was excited and I was petrified!
Well, Mom went to Target with me to get the last minute things I needed for a hospital bag, (timing the "contractions" at about 9-10 minutes apart) all the while we agreed we would not tell anyone until we knew for sure it was going to happen - I mean - 80% is pretty good - but we all knew that my body NEVER does anything according to the doctor's "normal" plan - I mean after all, I wasn't even supposed to be pregnant....
To make a long story a little bit shorter, I went the next morning - nothing had changed - but she definitely said it could be any day and that I was still contracting. They weren't getting any closer, or any more intense - so I just needed to monitor them - and come back on Monday.
The weekend came and went - still contracting - sometimes they would have a pattern, but other times not - Monday came and we went to the appointment - I was the same, but Anita decided to strip my membrane - At this point, I had told myself that I probably was not going to have a baby until the end of the month, just to keep myself from being dissapointed when I went home yet again, with no progress.
Monday night I was definitely contracting, but not super regular - yet I could NOT sleep. I paced around the house from 1am - 3am just thinking, trying to make myself tired enough to sleep - finally goint back to bed a little after 3 - only to get up at 5:15 for our morning walk. On the way to work I started feeling crampy - but still nothing I would consider painful, so I drove to work - timing the "cramps" at about 5 minutes apart. They continued all morning - and around lunch time they were about 4 minutes apart and I decided I should call the doctor to see if she wanted me to come back in again. Instead, I was told to be at the hospital in an hour. I asked if that was really necessary - I needed to go home, get my bags, wait for Nate to get home (who was in Fernandina for the day)- and then maybe I could be there in 2 or 3 hours? Anita said - nope, find someone else to bring you - and please be here in an hour. Mom was at church, and said she would meet me at home and we could head over. I rushed home re-packed the bag for the hospital and packed the car - when mom got there I was definitely feeling more crampy, but still not really believing this was real labor - I told Nate he needed to leave work, that I was going to the hospital - but not to say anything until we knew for sure I would be admitted and this was REAL labor. He just kept saying, are you serious, for real? Are you sure? I'm so flustered. I'm no where near home. I'm training someone. I'm so flustered. ha!
When we got to the hospital, I went to the desk to check in (during our l&d classes, they told us we would be taken to a room and checked before being admitted - and if we would be sent home for false labor it would happen before we were given an actual room -so I assumed this is the process I would be following) Instead - I was sent directly back to room 16 - and told a nurse would be in shortly with some paperwork. My response was - "uhhh - so am I being admitted to have this baby?" Apparently the answer was yes.
The nurse came in, filled out my information (I begged for ice chips already) and then hooked me up to monitors to see how far apart the contractions were - still 3-4 minutes. Nate arrived at the hospital about an hour later, and things were still the same. We decided to go ahead and let everyone know we would be having a baby - but according to the doctors - it would be early morning but hopefully before sunrise (around 10-12 hours from this point) so no need to rush or come visit.
When they finally let me walk a little - Nate and I walked for an hour, came back - spoke with the doctor about an epidural - in case I changed my mind about trying to go natural - and waited to be checked again. I was almost 6.
Anita came over after her patients for the day were done and told me she would probably break my water- because until I was feeling pain and stronger contractions - I probably wouldn't progress more than this. "Once we break your water it will still be about an hour per centimeter and then another hour or so of pushing." (Oh. boy. This could be a long night for someone who is used to going to bed before the sun sets!) She was planning on going home (to St. Augustine) to check on her daughter and then coming back once it was closer to time. She said she would be back with someone in a bit and then she would go check on what she needed at home. She told mom to go ahead and go home - eat dinner and we would call her and dad once we knew we were going to be having her shortly.
Around 7:45 she came back and broke my water. THAT was the wierdest sensation EVER. Kind of felt like a water balloon that was inside of you had just been popped. She left the room and 2 minutes later - the party started. Or not so much. I felt that first REAL contraction - what I was expecting the rest of them to feel like and I think I sat straight up in that bed - looked at Nate (sitting across the room playing on the ipad just hanging out) and said - Oh. My. Gosh. Now THAT hurts.
When the first one was over - Nate must have seen the panic in my eyes because he was sitting on the bed at this point saying - now remember the breathing we learned - you just have to stay calm - you can do it. You are tough. I said "I think I'm going to be sick" "No, you can do it!" "NO! I think I'm going to be SICK! Get me something to throw up in!" Then BOOM - second contraction - Breathe Breathe Breathe my ba-hiney. That hurts. As soon as it was over - I got sick. Then contraction. Then sick. Then contraction. Then sick. There was no time to catch my breath in between contractions and throwing up - that is when I started to panic - I can't do this! Get some medicine! Call the nurse! Call my mom - tell her to come back! -- Nate, bless his heart, cool as a cucumber on the outside - yet looking like a deer in the headlights if you REALLY looked at his eyes. He called the nurse, who came in and saw I had pulled all the monitors off and then told me that I could not get up (I was begging to be able to move - I figured if I was not laying down I might could find a more comfortable position) until they monitored the baby's hear rate for at least 10 minutes - then she said I could get up. I had already told them to try to talk me out of medicine if at all possible. And she did a good job - but she did tell me if I was given anything through my IV that the epidural team would be very hesitant to give me an epidural - so I opted out of the IV meds for the moment. She hooked me back up and said - Give me 10 minutes of laying still and good baby hear rate monitoring and then I'll let you walk. Those 10 minutes never ended. At least I didn't think they would. Contractions, getting sick - every 2 minutes for 10 minutes. When she finally came back in I was bawling, I can't do this! I need the medicine! I think I need to push! (It had only been about 45 minutes and I knew at this point I could NOT do this until 5 a.m. - there was No. Way.) When she heard me say I needed to push, she said - that's a good sign - you are probably progressing - let me check - oh boy. Big. Mama. Contraction. I mean - BIG. MAMA. I cried. She pressed the nurses call button - and I heard "I need a baby cart, baby medicine, someone page Anita - we are ready to have a baby" - then she looked at me and said - "Honey, you are 9 1/2 and you can push if you want to - I can call for the epidural if you want, but you can have this baby out before they get here and I don't think you could sit still for it anyway - so push if you want to." - and I did.
The room changed over so fast, there were nurses everywhere - lights and people talking - and all the while Nate kept saying "you can do it - you are doing great - you are having our baby!" And about 15 minutes later, heard - one more push, and then heard them say - "She is here! I looked at Nate and have never seen him happier! and all I could say/cry is - that's my baby! THAT is my baby!" They laid her on my chest and I fell in love. Absolute head over heels LOVE. This little person, this little human that had been inside of me for 9 months was now laying on my chest, looking at me, here mom, for the first time. I died. I just could have died right there. It is a feeling I cannot put into words.