Has it really been three months? I saw some pictures of Cate while we were in China this week and I literally barely recognized her. It's true she was "happy" with us even in China - which we weren't anticipating - but having her home now for this long, and seeing how truly joyful she is - makes me wonder what was really going through her head when we were over there. I think she was way more nervous and scared than we realized.
This month has brought lots of new words and phrases - which still blows my mind knowing that the portion of her brain that is most affected by her diagnosis is the part that controls her speech. I'll tell you what it doesn't control. The ability to say the word "no," "stop," "mean" (she says this when she doesn't get her way), and "maaammmaaaa, Wy-iiiitttt" (which is what she does anytime she is tattling - no matter who she is telling on - she always says Wyatt's name. She tattles to me a lot on Nate when he tells her "no" and she tattles on me equally to whoever will listen. It's really pretty hilarious most of the time - but at the end of the day can be equally as annoying. HA!
She consistently says "Good mor-nan!" everytime we get her out of bed - even at nap time - which is probably one of my favorite things to hear her say. She says it with a southern accent - which makes it even cuter if that is possible. She also learned to say "watch you [me]" "look" "Momma/Daddy's home!" "I do it" "momma, hold you/help you" "nap time" "lemme see it" "good boy, Knoxie" "good job, Wy-it" "come on, Momma, let's go" "blesh you" "I do it, Momma" "bye, see ya" "night night" if we say "I love you!" her responses is "yes! I know!" (why, I have no idea!) and she has pretty much learned that most things that start with a gentle "Momma" and end with "please" will result in her getting what she asks for. We've done a great job of making her not the princess of this house. [eyeroll.] She also says "why" all.day.long. I don't think she has a clue what she is asking - but she hears everyone else say it - so why not her?
This month we had a lot of follow up appointments regarding her official diagnosis - and therapies we can pursue for her - and while no official therapy has started yet (next week) - we have a list of things we want to try to start with her over the coming months. She has just continued to astound us with what she is attempting to do. She is using her right arm more and more - even sometimes without being prompted. She often isn't successful in her attempts to actually "do" things with her hand - but with enough cheering she is just as happy to try.
She really misses her siblings while they are at school. Wyatt is gone three days a week - and she says "Wy-it at kool" the entire day when he is gone. "Momma - Wy-it at kool? Wy-it at kool (sad face)" When we pick Skylar and Wyatt up after school you would have thought she hadn't seen them in a month of Sundays - she screams "HIIIIIIIIIIIIII" at the top of her lungs. I am pretty sure the people who run car line think I have someone pitching a fit every time I pull up - but she really is happy - although happy squeals and mad squeals sound very similar.
We went to the zoo several times this month - and she really enjoys being outside. I am super excited for the three days of fall we might get in Florida when I can actually enjoy being outside with her instead of trying to convince her its too hot to be out.
This month we survived our first sickness. Cate had a (very mild, thank God) stomach bug. In the days that followed - I couldn't help but be really sad about how she handled it. I think this was one of those things that made me realize - I have no idea how in the world she was treated before she came to us. I believe, in my heart, that she was loved and taken care - but there is just something different about having a momma and daddy. There were two things that made me really sad. First, she didn't cry for anyone. She literally got sick (at the exact same time I was laying her down in bed) and she didn't cry. She didn't reach up for me. She just laid there. Which initially I thought - oh, she knows I saw that happen - and knows I will pick her up and help her. But two other times that night - she was sick -and never cried. In fact, Skylar woke up to go to the bathroom and happened to notice on her way to out of the girls room and woke us up. Otherwise - we never would have known. It made me reflect on the fact that when she poops in her diaper after we put her down - she never cries. We always end up smelling it - cause girlfriend's body has not completely adjusted to American food and I'm pretty sure the next city over could smell it - but she never complains, cries, or calls out for help. It makes me wonder how many times she has slept in a mess and had to wait until morning. Breaks my heart.
The other thing that made me really sad was her reaction to spilling a snack. She has always loved opening the pantry and just looking - I mean, some days she stacks tuna cans and carries them around in a lunch box all day - but I never really thought twice about it. She also chipmunks food - even an hour after a meal I'll notice her chewing and I'll say "what are you chewing on" and she will use her tongue to pull food out of the back of her mouth - where she is saving it?? So when she spilled a little snack she was eating at the table - and I picked up the little pieces off the floor and threw them out and she instantly burst into tears - I thought - oh my goodness -she thinks she is going to be hungry. I quickly got another snack for her and when I brought it to her - she let out a sigh that had pent up for all almost-three years of her life. She seriously thought she was going to be hungry. No doubt in my mind she was worried that would be her last bit of food for the day...or however long.
While it is easy to see that this girl has no shortage of food - it's these little moments that make us realize she has been affected - no matter how well she was loved in her earlier situation - by not having parents who could give her the care that only a family truly can.
Cate wants to do whatever the big kids are doing. If we are baking - we give her bowls of water and small amounts of ingredients. We let her help mix and pour. If we are eating and someone else gets a different topping or side dish than what she has on her plate - she always reaches out and wants the same thing. If they are doing a dance move, playing with a toy, or getting attention for something - she needs to do the exact.same.thing. It is the sweetest thing how - for the most part - Skylar and Wyatt aren't the least bit bothered by it. They are almost always the first one to notice if she does something new or different - and they are the biggest cheerleaders when it comes to her accomplishing something - especially if it involves that hand they know she struggles to use. Its the greatest thing to see them all bonding so well.
Cate has learned that as a member of this family - she will be forced to watch football every weekend - and as long as it involves snacks (which doesn't it always?) she totally doesn't mind. I mean, how cute is she?
This month we went to the beach [finally!] for the first time since being home. I had been hesitant to plan a big family trip because I know she has some sensory/texture aversions and I just knew we would pack everything up and get everyone there and she would freak and my other two would be sad to leave their favorite place instead of playing all day long. Nothing about leaving the beach after going to the effort of loading up three kids - with all three crying kids - or staying while two had a ball and the other one cried sounded like a great idea to me. So I waited until we had a day with no appointments - and we went just the two of us. While I wouldn't say she loved it right away - I know with a couple more visits she will end up really enjoying herself. I was surprised with how long she played and smashed sand castles. I was actually able to get her to use her right hand for almost an hour and so basically we had "therapy" at the ocean. I mean, no complaints here!
This month has been so sweet to see her little personality emerge more and more - and to really just be able to sit back and watch our family and friends get to meet her and see that really - what you see is what you get. She just is such a little light and full of so much joy it really is hard to believe we have only been her family for three months. I know Nate is tired of hearing me say - but seriously - we are so blessed and I can't believe she is finally here and this is her. I can't believe how God has answered prayer after prayer - and I can't believe how many times we have been able to share our story - and how many people we have been able to meet through this process. We are so very very thankful and blessed.
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