The Momma RollerCoaster

The Mom-Coaster.  It is life lately.  Daily.  It's the ride of mom-life that moves you from the pit-of-disobedient-despair to mountaintop-of-sweetness spitting you out into the frustration-loop-of-back-to-back-bad-decisions followed by a swift ride up to the pinnacle-of-pride.  A ride where rarely are the transitions from each point smooth or slow - instead, it starts when your feet hit the floor at break-neck speed until you finally [try to] shut the ride down at 7 p.m. when toddlers go to bed - which actually turns into 8-ish p.m. after the 20th [frustrating] request for water, kisses, bathroom breaks, one more song and a tighter-tuck-in are finally over.

Today (by 1 p.m.) it was a roller coaster day.  The morning started fine - no one got up horrifyingly early - we had decided to skip school today (its VPK, relax) and run pre-wedding errands and also had some fun ideas for the afternoon.

But by the time we went downstairs for breakfast the you-know-what flew sky high. I noticed last night that Skylar's hair looked funny - but was in the middle of getting Wyatt back in bed for the 56474987321321th time (no, not an exaggeration) and Nate put her in bed with the light off so I didn't think another thing about it.  Yet, here, in the glaring morning light of the kitchen it slaps me in the face - Skylar has bangs.  I finally stopped shaking long enough to ask her, "Skylar did you cut your hair?"  Her face said it all.  Busted. And genuinely upset about it. She teared up and said "yes, it was in my face while I was doing art, so I just cut it."  I really really tried to respond with kindness, grace, love and all that stuff.  I'm pretty sure I said "Seriously?  It was in your face so you cut it - instead of going to get a ponytail holder or a headband??? Are you JOKING?"  I could literally feel a 37 minute lecture seeping up my throat and it was probably going to come out at a volume that I hate to hear myself talk at - so I didn't say anything further. [Does this count as self-control if all 37 minutes of lecture were still playing in my head??]  I sent Nate a text letting him know what happened (and how I really felt - sorry, Nate) and while I knew it could have been SSSOOO much worse - I was just so upset.  KIDS! SERIOUSLY. Five years from now - when her hair finally grows back out - (eye roll) - none of this will matter but that mom-coaster slung me for a loop.

This was immediately followed by a Proud-Peak-Momma-Moment when both kids spent an hour in a bridal salon while I tried on 15 dresses (some several times) sat and kept themselves occupied, shared one electronic device and one book and didn't act bored, crazy or make a scene.  The ladies in the salon complimented them several times on their behavior (which I needed after The Bangs) and on the way out another customer complimented Wyatt on his manners.  In that moment I could have given them both a trophy.

But then we came home.  And Skylar decided to practice her handstands in her room against her wall. A wall that has some low hanging frames so that she can display her artwork from school.  Frames that were apparently in the exact spot she wanted to practice. After hearing a giant bang several times coming from her room, I went to check only to find - Skylar with a nail and a hairbrush - re-hanging her frames.  DEFINITELY not in a straight line - and DEFINITELY not successfully driving the nail into the wall - rather making a random three-nail-sized hole in the wall.  And the valley of destructiveness-can't-have-anything-nice-because-my-kids-find-a-way-to-destroy-everything came crashing into view.

But then - one of those moments you want to bottle up and hold on to forever and ever because (despite the crazy) you get a small glimpse into your kids heart happened -  and I want to end my day today thinking about that - no matter what this afternoon holds.  I told the kids that we would be giving them each $10 to spend on a gift for each other - and they would get to pick whatever they wanted to give the other, buy it and wrap it themselves.  This was followed by cheers from each of them. Skylar was so excited - "What a great idea!" (Thanks, I thought so too, kid.)  "But I'm really going to need double $10. - Because I want to buy and wrap a toy for my sister in China too."  My heart stopped.  My heart that was still a little lot cranky looking at her bangs and a mind that was frustrated thinking about the suddenly-smaller hole in the wall upstairs.  My eyes welled up a little as she continued "...and I think we need to get her a stocking to hang with ours too, even if she isn't here this year - we can save her goodies until she gets here." Her heart.  HER HEART!!!  Mom-Coaster off the charts.

I really wish there was a warning label on newborns.  Caution: This baby will wreck your world in the best way possible - and the bigger they get - the bigger the wrecks.

May I always try to see past the too-short bangs, because the days really are too short.  May I try to not worry about the scuffed-up-extra-holey (did I mention they have been drawn on) walls and instead see the fact that these walls are holding up a home that is full of memories and little people God has so graciously blessed us with - and what sweet, kind, tender little ones they are.

So, on that note - I leave you with The Bangs. (She is still pretty cute.)